Instead of revising during exam period I decided to rant at everyone on twitter about my important harry potter feelings, some people asking for them in a more stable place, here they are, dun dunnnn (there's also a tumblr posts. the stuff about remus, sirius and tonks and the stuff about ginny)
(it was in tweet format so it is ...choppy. i added a couple lines, edited for clarity etc)
EVERYONE STEP OFF MY NUMBER ONE BISEXUAL HERO RIGHT THE FUCK NOW
"remus/tonks is not healthy" YEAH cause remus clinging to self-destructive PTSD suffering last link to a lost childhood was so DAMN HEALTHY
one of the reason the marauders' story is such a tragedy is because by the time we, as readers, come on board, their downfall is inevitable
the changes that could have saved their lives are pre-canon INCLUDING sirius, who seems inevitably set on his tragic path post-azkaban
EXCEPT and KEY EXCEPTION, remus, who could have survived, who is GIVEN a chance at a life beyond his grief and trauma
but chooses to risk death not out of self-destructive mania caused by a tragic past, but genuine desire to do good, to protect the helpless
(I'm not saying sirius isn't a noble character, but sirius is a tragic character in a COMPLETELY DIFFERENT sense than remus)
I totes agree with like EVERYONE that jkr completely dropped the ball with remus because he is such a fascinating character
like, james is, in many ways, a non-character, at least in a literary sesne. he exists only through the descriptions of others
as much as i care DEEPLY about fanon!james, canon james is essentially a tragic plot device but SUCH AN IMPORTANT ONE
james' shadow motivates SO MUCH of the books, especially sirius, remus and peter. their old leader's shadow is SO LONG srsly
but james died tragically young. but think about it, james was so charismatic, inspired SUCH loyalty that remys, sirius (and even peter) are acting on that loyalty nearly 20 years after his death. but circling (slowly) back to my original point about remus and sirius
Remus is the only marauder to escape James' shadow (I include Pete in this), that where his tragedy lies, in that his death is avoidable!
Traditional fan groupings put remus and sirius together and peter deperately 'case obvs evil guy can't be like OUR FAVES but nooooo
Peter and Sirius has SO much in common imo. They're both tormented by the memory of James Potter and never seem to escape their childhood
Also their stories feel inevitable. Peter's change into a horrible husk of what he was began far before harry even exists.
Sirius feels similarly doomed. What is there for him post-azkaban? Harry, the ghost of his best friend, or Remus, who is so changed and different from Sirius' memories?
Remus, on the other hand, emerges from a lifetime of grief and hardship with this deep well of kindness and strength and desire to do good
In many ways, Remus' story is one of his journey to absolve himself of his guilt that comes from his complicity in James' death and his return to hogwarts is part of that journey
Sirius' death, while tragic, also severs Remus' last true link with the marauders era and the baggage he carries from his childhood (or well, this specific aspect of baggage). He has completed his journey as regards James' death.
I doubt he would see it this way but his journey has been completed. He'd discovered the true spy, cleared sirius' name (at least to himself and the people who mattered), done his duty to the school that he'd loved and pledged his sword (metaphorically) to James' son. he'd done what needed to be done.
Except Sirius can't stop living in that period of their childhoods, because he was never given the chance to develop out of it, and Remus can't abandon Sirius.
Sirius spent the 8-ish (eh, timelines, I can't remember) years since James' death as A DOG. A DOG. BEING EMOTIONALLY TORTURED. he's trapped in the past, in his own trauma
(now i really want a emotionally HORRIBLE fic in which Sirius' death is actually relieving to Remus, because at least he's not suffering anymore. UGH OUCH)
like, Sirius' death sets both of them free. Remus becomes free to move on with his life (and to fall in love with someone emotionally capable of it)
and Sirius is freed from the present world that is torturing him, just as much as Azkaban did (ugh i just punched myself in the face with feels)
It's not like Tonks is just WAITING AROUND or something. She's doing her goddamn job CATCHING BAD GUYS.
and bullshit Tonks haters are like "she was canonically mopey" I'm sorry have you NEVER BEEN IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE IN PAIN?????? IT'S SAD OKAY
The man she loved was grieving, conflicted and both emotionally and physically ripping himself apart OF COURSE SHE WAS BLOODY SAD
JKR kinda does her "hits audience with anvil" think when Remus goes to Harry in the last book and is like "TAKE ME WITH YOU"
Harry is basically like "you want to pull a Sirius REALLY??? cause he did it to me and it FUCKING SUCKED" and man I LOVE IT, one of my favorite moments
Harry in the last couple books is so angry and in so much pain and it's SO RIGHT for him, the abused and fatherless child to send Remus, a father, back to his family
Basically Remus and Sirius have vastly different character arcs and Tonks is a VITAL PART of Remus'
obviously I would've liked for her to have more agency as a character and there are some ways in which she exists to make Remus' story sadder
but she's also much more than just a remus plot device. She's Ginny's close friend and one of the people whose loyalty harry inspires
Tonks isn't one of Harry's close friends. They know each other and like each other but she's not ron, hermione or one of the weasleys
Additionally, she's young enough that her reason for fighting isn't the ghosts of the previous war (like remus or sirius or moody), Her motivations are different.
She isn't just loyal to "harry the person" in the way his friends are. She's loyal to "harry the idea", the idea we can defend and serve without special skills but simply by being determined to be a good person. She's loyal to her job as an auror, to Kingsley her mentor
She isn't motivated by grief or anger or co-dependent friendships, she's not haunted by ghosts. SHE HAS EVERY REASON TO STAY HOME.
including having very recently been pregnant, a living mother, her newborn son...yet she still goes and fights to defend the wizarding world from evil.
Tonks is literally an Auror until her dying breath, she dies fighting DARK WIZARDS. She does her job DESPITE EVERYTHING and she's a bloody hero.
I will actually fight anyone who says Tonks doesn't fit Remus' narrative cause it is so not true and EVEN IF
EVEN IF she doesn't fit his narrative, who the fuck cares 'cause she's actually bloody brilliant and Remus was lucky to have her.
I loved Tonks as a teenager reading the books, but as I get older, her importance to me seems to grow. She has so many qualities that are important to value and does so many great things.
Her love of someone who, on the surface, seemed hopelessly broken and self-defeating (and by the way a second class citizen suffering massive social stigma, she loved him anyway). Her devotion to her work. Her humour.
Tonks was a woman doing a dangerous, capable job while being clutsy, unconcerned about her appearance and hilariously funny. Role model.
I also think about a lot about her having a gender neutral name and being a shape-shifter but also got married and had children.
and I know a lot of people read that as her queer narrative being so-opted by straight people things but I always felt differently
She (at least metaphorically) fell somewhere funky on the gender spectrum and did things sometimes depicted as exclusive with that
which, as fucked up as this is, included things as simple as having a child, being loved and getting married
Man, Ginny. I am going to talk about Ginny now. this will probably circle back to Remus because I AM ME, but oh man, Ginny.
Ginny, who carried LORD VOLDEMORT around inside her when she was like, FREAKING 11. SHE WAS A FIRST YEAR.
She was possessed by the literal embodiment of evil for one of the most formative years of anyone's life and she came out.....normal. like super normal.
what kind of magic trick does that take. to be normal and turn 12 and be yourself in the face of massively epically unspeakable evil.
I mean, Harry Potter, master of death, boy who lived, had this tiny sliver of a weak voldemort inside him and he went, to quote Thor 2, "bananaballs"
Ginny has Tom Riddle, at the height of his charisma, when he was a handsome bright young man full of power, CRAWLING AROUND IN HER BRAIN
All this has been said re:ginny but it's genuinely wild to think about, this 11 year old girl being emotionally abused by lord voldemort
I mean, basically a testament to Arthur and Molly's parenting that ginny turns out so not fucked up. That girl must have done a lot of hurting.
And then she just does....normal girl stuff. She dates and makes friends (from multiple houses!! yes I am looking at you Harry J Potter, interhouse unity my ass, you were shit at that)
and the friends she chooses says a lot about her. For one, her friend are all older. Neville and Luna are in Harry's year, not Ginny's (which speaks to her maturity and intelligence)
They're also painted as outcasts, which makes me wonder if ginny, in addition to being possessed by the ultimate evil, was also a social outcast
(which, salt in the wound much, you just survived an encounter with evil and NOW no one will sit with you at lunch)
but I can't imagine integrating was easy for ginny post-chamber of secrets. She'd didn't make many friends first year (busy being possessed soz guys)
and no one really knows why she was in the chamber and it's all just kind of wierd and everyone at school's shaken after the whole debacle
so I bet she gets avoided and shunned a bit so she feels drawn to other excluded people, like neville and luna
but this exclusion clearly doesn't last forever, by the time we meet back up with her in OOtP, she's attractive and even kinda cool
but does that mean she doesn't care about neville and luna any more? No it does not! She's protective and defensive of Luna (FEMALE FRIENDSHIP) and supportive of Neville
and ginny is a super good friend! like I bet she's a great girlfriend too but lets be real I don't care about that and she is clearly dating casually
and I can just imagine her pouring her heart and love and energy into her friendships, in the people she really truly loves
also don't nobody try and tell me she didn't have lots of fun casual sex while at hogwarts, it was a boarding school yo.
I also really like the idea of her hanging out with Luna and doing girl stuff and exploring her identity and sexuality through her dating.
only girl in a family of seve, bet you she was cool with male sexuality but took her a little while to find her own groove
harry and ginny are very similar actually. Ginny is very loyal (she's a weasley yo) and inspires that loyalty and care in her friends.
more on harry similaries 'cause I like this vein of thinking. Like Harry, she appears to be the centre of her trio.
At least in fan discussions, Ginny, Luna & Neville are painted as the 'second trio' and the parallels are clear
with the golden trip missing from the school in DH, Ginny, Neville and Luna fill that gap for as long as they're able
you'd think that Neville would be made the centre of that three (only boy, more direct parallels with Harry) and he is right at the end but his assumption of leadership of the school resistance at the end of DH seemsly mostly by necessity since Ginny and Luna have fled the school. Additionally, she seems to have masterminded much of their resistance plans.
Also ginny is the one who brings luna and neville together, since they met and know each other through her. She's a leader of people similarly to Harry.
She might even be better than he is, considering that Harry is often quite bad at understanding people (lbr here folks harry is consistently bad)
Harry doesn't get a choice in a lot of things (that's part of the SUPER CREEPY dumbledore 'lamb to the slaughter' narrative) and
Ginny is an interesting exploration of a similar person with significantly more agency and ability to choose her life path than Harry
and she chooses leadership and friendship, she chooses to fight injustice where ever she finds it, promote interhouse unity in practical ways
also I would like some future fic where married ginny and harry have nightmares and then comfort each other because oh man, the nightmares that couple would have.
Basically if your shipping or headcanons involves cutting out female characters (even from het ships!!) you better have some damn good reasons
you better have your justifications for that shit ready 'cause you and me are gonna have some words. and they will be fighting words.
as much as people/me hate the epilogue (fuck you harry you are shit at naming children) future married ginny is important to meeee
she's a journalist! and a professional athlete! harry is at home more than she is! her eldest son is a little shit!
and their children are such inversions of what harry was to remus and sirius. To them, he was a ghost that reminded them of their guilt and grief.
Imagine ginny seeing SO MUCH of Fred in James and tell me your heart doesn't clench, but their children are celebrations, not relics
ginny and harry are both veterans and survivors of deep trauma but they're determined to full their life together with happiness
anyway I just really want people to think about ginny and harry being this comfortable couple who've been through a ton and live with it
Harry & Ginny putting the kids to bed and then all the DA folk flooing over on the anniversary of the battle and saying a toast "to the lost" together
everyone leaves & it's late at night, ginny & harry sitting at the kitchen table, couple fingers of firewhisky that they don't drink
just them, sitting in silence, holding hands, watching the sun rise, remembering.
hearing the kids start to wake up, and them looking at each other, harry kisses ginny on the cheeck, goes upstairs to get the kids
these are things I want. survivors doing just that. surviving.